Pulling from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 English Standard Version

A Time for Everything

3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

² a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
³ a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
⁴ a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
⁵ a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶ a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
⁷ a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
⁸ a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace

This speaks to me of the fact that there will always be a time for different experiences. This tells me there is a time to feel my raw, true emotions. This tells me time is the ever-revolving door of change.

So why do we shy away from change? There’s the “everyone hates change” narrative that seems to resonate with so many, including me. But what if we don’t make room for change? Is that time wasted? Time that I cannot get back, good or bad. It’s so easy to imagine all the bad that could happen when you make what feels like sudden, earth-shaking movements. But what about leaning into the good that comes from movement?

Breaking through the fear of change, whether it’s been instilled in you for years or comes from past experiences, is rarely easy, but it’s a must-do, actionable item.

I remember having a reality check when I began dating my now-husband. I knew going into it that he was looking to settle down with someone, but until I heard it come from his mouth, I realized I hadn’t thought through what could be (which is what happened to be), and if I was truly ready for it. The main fear I struggled with is “Am I capable of being a supportive partner, in a communicative, healthy relationship, that’s willing to be vulnerable?”

I didn’t believe in myself. This lifestyle change of being in a healthy relationship, believe it or not, scared me. The risk of failure was glaring. And that, to me, is the hardest thing about change.

I envy people who aren’t afraid of failure. Failure can be healthy and a way to learn, but that doesn’t mean it always feels good. And as I’m navigating changes in my life, having to look to the positive side of change rather than the negative is an entire mindset shift.

Because what if this change is the best thing to ever happen to me? Opening new opportunities, new experiences, new friends, a new outlook on life… A lot won’t be the same. But that’s okay. The verses above spell that out for me.

As hard as it is to hear this, time is something we can never get back. Healthy change is worth it when it brings new life, new hope, and God-given dreams. And that means everything to me.

My messy thoughts on change.

-Karsyn